Beezus on Chinese New Year

[kinglearisstupid]

It's Career Week at school, and Beezus comes back with great aspirations for her future.

"I'm going to be Chinese," she tells Rossi on the drive over to Quantico to pick Emily up for lunch. "That's what I'm gonna be when I grow up: a Chinese person."

Rossi processes this information as he changes lanes. "Honey," he says gently, because he doesn't want his daughter to look back after he's long dead and remembers him being the one responsible for crushing her hopes and dreams, "I don't think --- it doesn't really --- you sure you don't want to be an FBI agent?"

"I can be an FBI agent," Beezus says resolutely, "but I'll be a Chinese FBI agent."

"I'm not really sure how that's going to work," says Rossi, "Considering that I'm Italian and your mom is . . . whatever she is. A little French, I think. You should ask her."

"I don't want to be Italian anymore! I want to be Chinese! Why won't you let me be Chinese?"

"Sweetie, it's not that I won't let you be Chinese. I just don't really see how it's possible."

Beezus is a sobbing mess by the time they pull into the parking lot of J. Edgar Hoover building and Rossi can feel all eyes on him as he totes his drama queen of a daughter into the BAU room. Garcia is quick to take Beezus away from him and cover her with kisses while Emily raises an eyebrow and pulls on her coat.

"What happened?" she asks warily.

"I'm not really sure," Rossi answers.

When they've found a table at a nearby Thai restaurant, Emily coaxes Beezus into explaining what made her so upset.

"I'm upset because Daddy is being mean. Mr. Jonah says it's not nice to tell people they can't be something when they grow up, because it makes us sad and our moms and dads are supposed to help us be more confident."

"I don't think you need any help in being more confident," Rossi says to her. "And honestly, not to rain on your parade or anything, sweetheart, but I'm a little dubious as to how you're going to achieve your goal in life to be a Chinese FBI agent."

"So little of that made any sense," Emily comments.

"Our daughter," he explains as he gestures for the server to take their order, "no longer wants to be Italian. When she grows up, she wants to be Chinese."

"Yes," Beezus affirms, "I want to be Chinese like Mulan and have a pet dragon."

Emily takes a moment before she says, "Okay. I can see your point, Dave."

Beezus yanks her chopsticks apart with a loud POP! and scowls. "Don't tell me that dragons aren't real because Spencer says they are. There are Komodo dragons and bearded dragons and ---"

"It's not the dragon part I'm concerned about," Emily says. "For now, anyway. Honey, why don't you tell me and Daddy what is it that makes you want to be Chinese?"

"Because of Chinese New Year. If I'm Chinese then I can have Chinese New Year, which is like Christmas with all the chocolates and presents but without all the praying."

That is fair, Rossi thinks. He can see the appeal of that.

"And the money. You can get so much money at Chinese New Year because during Chinese New Year, you just say Gung Hay Fat Choy, and grownups have to give you free money. It's a Chinese New Year rule. Olivia T. got almost fifty dollars already! And when I went over to her house, I got one dollar from Olivia's grandma and one dollar from Olivia's grandpa and five dollars from Olivia's mom! If I'm Chinese then I can get lots and lots of money and I won't even have to be good for Santa or baby Jesus or anybody else."

"And that's why you want to be Chinese?" Emily asks.

Beezus nods into her glass of coconut water. "That and the dragon."